Chicka Chicka Boom Boom Review

Today's review will be Chicka Chicka Boom Boom by Bill Martin Jr and John Archambault. How it took two people to write a book about the alphabet is beyond comprehension, but that is not even the worst part of this book. The actual writing of this book is atrocious, and the story-line just doesn't make any sense. What on earth does Chicka Chicka Boom Boom even mean, anyway? Am I supposed to understand what that means? I feel like I just walked into a movie halfway through it.

The setting: A coconut tree (And if you can please explain to me what coconut trees have to do with the alphabet, you win a prize.)

The characters: The entire alphabet, a coconut tree, the sun, a full moon, the alphabet's parents, uncles, and aunts, and seriously, I have no idea what is going on in this book!

Chicka Chicka Boom Boom begins at the first letter of the alphabet, thank God! That is the only thing that Bill and John actually did that makes any sense in this book. "A told B and B told C, "I'll beat you to the top of the coconut tree."" That seems very logical. Letters running up a random coconut tree sitting in the middle of a giant white space. Okay, I'll suspend my disbelief here for a moment because this is a children's book. I'll allow that premise... now wow me with awesome writing.

Stop. You can't end every line with "up the coconut tree." It is pointless repetition and doesn't actually rhyme. However, "tree" rhymes with just about every single word in the English or Spanish language. "Look who's coming! L M N O P! And Q R S! And T U V!" Wait... you just blew through half the alphabet without anything happening! A and B were talking and K was "tag-along K." Throw something good at us here. If I wanted to just read a string of letters I would READ THE ALPHABET! Oh, the whole alphabet is up the coconut tree, now.... wait! Oh, you fooled me! Bill, you are so tricky.

BOOM! BOOM! Make sure you have all caps there, or it doesn't have the same effect. I'm guessing that the "BOOM! BOOM!" part has to do with the alphabet falling out of the tree. However, what does "Chicka, Chicka..." mean? Is that the sound that coconuts make? Is this an alphabet porno? I am looking forward to the end of this book explaining everything.

Now all the letters are in a giant pile and various things are happening to them as a result of the fall. D skinned his knee and G is out of breath. K is about to cry. P has a black eye and Q, R, S are completely unharmed. Really? Bill and John, with your two brilliant minds, couldn't come up with something for Q R S? Embarrassing. X Y Z are all unharmed, too, but now the sun goes down on the coconut tree.... so is the story over? No, there's a full moon! Ya know, that tree doesn't exactly look very steady. Whose bright idea was it to go up this coconut tree in the first place? 

DAMN YOU A! Stay out of that coconut tree! Get back in bed! Of course, it ends with one last "Chicka chicka BOOM! BOOM!" just for fun.

In summation, letters climb a tree and then fall out. The coconuts have ABSOLUTELY nothing to do with anything that happened. This could just have easily been a banana tree or a pine tree. However, for some unknown reason, kids seem to really like this book. Lily carries it around the house asking for me to read it again and again. Sometimes I have to hide it because it is insufferable, but Lily gives this book 5 out of 5 stars. It is available at Amazon for $13.11 and is free shipping for Amazon Prime customers. Unfortunately, there is no teacher's guide version of this book, so you'll have to answer the unanswerable questions yourself. Pick this book up today... Chicka, Chicka, BOOM! BOOM!